And the cops told us we were all naked.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
