I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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