it hurts more in the daytime
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you never un-have a 4some
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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