how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
