this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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