Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
