It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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