dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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