It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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