I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
