Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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