I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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