i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We are all done wearing pants today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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