i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
