gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When are your genitals available?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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