Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
