I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i think im in europe. pls send help
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
