and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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