he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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