Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you had me at cake vodka
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
