Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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