Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
