Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
