you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
