I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
