my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
