like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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