This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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