i can't believe i had my finger in that
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
