If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize