I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
