Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
