it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
