Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why is there bacon in the couch?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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