Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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