Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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