Non-Jews are for practice
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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