I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
