hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
