Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
