Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
