You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
