I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
