Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
