the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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