I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
