i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize