I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
