I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
