Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
4 words: hood of his car
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
