HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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