If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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